


Dream or Reality

by Rukazaya



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:26:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukazaya/pseuds/Rukazaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo x Izaya. Tsugaru x Psyche. Izaya keeps having dreams of Tsugaru and Psyche. He couldn't help but feel jealous of their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tsugaru woke up to something wet falling on his chest. It was Psyche's tears as he laid on top of him, sleeping.

Tsugaru gently wrapped his arms around him and pulled up the covers. He carefully took off the headphones still strapped on the little brunette's ears and whispered to him, "It's alright. I'm here with you."

Psyche drifted in and out of his dreams.

"Tsu… Tsugaru, don't… I…" Psyche moaned as Tsugaru sucked on his collarbone and left him a pinkish hickey that matched his magenta eyes. But he didn't stop there. His hands undressed the young man below him as he continued to pour his feelings with each touch.

"Don't…" Psyche teared up again, and Tsugaru licked away his tears.

"Don't cry. I don't like seeing you cry."

"But…" Psyche looked at Tsugaru shyly and looked away quickly when he met his intense gaze.

"You were crying this morning too." Tsugaru told him quietly, still staring down at his flushed lover. Psyche swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat.

"I… well… I…."

"Were you having that nightmare again?"

Psyche nodded slowly as he squinted his eyes shut.

"Don't worry, it's just a dream." Tsugaru leaned down and gave him another kiss on his nape gently.

"But, I was plotting to hurt you! I… I even trafficked guns in my dreams, Tsu-chan. Guns? I knew how to take off the safety, and I didn't even knew I knew until I watched myself in the dream… and, and then I even convinced these girls to jump off the roof… and then I even… to you, I even…!"

"Shh… it's okay. It's just a dream. Nothing but a dream." Tsugaru whispered as he held onto his trembling Psyche and slowly lowered him back onto the bed. Psyche clung to him and started to cry on his shoulders, his chest heaving.

"It's just a dream, Psyche. No one's hurt. Don't worry."

* * *

Izaya groaned as he tried to massage away his pounding migraine.

"Namie-san, could you recommend any medications for migraines?"

"It's called pain killers. Use them." Namie rolled her eyes as she went back to her work.

"How cruel Namie-san~ I'd have expected a much more sophisticated diagnosis."

"If not pain killers, there's something called 'healthier living.' I don't think you've ever heard of it." Namie scoffed as she ignored her boss's whining.

Izaya sighed as he went back to his computer screen and massaged his temple. Dammit-Izaya thought to himself. It was that ridiculous dream that constantly plagued him. Each time he did something for fun, be it gathering interesting blackmail worthy information, getting a rise out of Shizu-chan or convincing a few people that they're useless in the grand scheme of life, he always had that dream. In the dream, he was some gay music composer with a kimono-clad boyfriend who looked a bit too similar to Shizuo for his comfort.

Having a dream where he lived an alternate life didn't really bother Izaya as much as the content of his dreams. In his dreams, he had sex with shizuo-look alike as if they're bunnies in 24/7 mating season. Seriously, what-the-fuck, self. Izaya refused to believe that he was in denial or had some sexual frustration tendencies. No, it was impossible. Definitely not possible!

To make himself feel better, Izaya went out trolling Ikebukuro again. He played beautiful mind-games with ganguro girls, orchestrated some gang wars between the purples and the green boys, ran into Shizu-chan to ruin his day by dumping trash can onto his head, ran around the alleyways while being chased by the trashcan monster, and then ended the day with some delicious ootoro.

Yes Namie-san, Izaya knew how to live a healthy life.

* * *

Psyche frowned as he was listening to his headset as he scribbled down some notes on his music sheet. He crumpled them immediately and tossed it into the small trashcan that was already piled with half-finished scores.

Psyche frowned even harder when he noticed the trashcan. His shoulders drooped even lower.

Tsugaru watched quietly as he smoked his pipe. A slow hazy ring formed and drifted towards Psyche's frown. Finally, he lowered his pipe and moved over to Psyche.

"Are you having a music block?"

"No. I mean yes! Wait, no, I'm not… umm…" Psyche sighed as he plopped his head on Tsugaru's lap, tired.

"What's bothering you?" Tsugaru asked gently as he brushed Psyche's soft hair.

"I had that dream again Tsu-chan." Psyche sighed deeply as his eyes glanced at the trashcan. "And this time, I dumped a trashcan on your head."

Tsugaru chuckled. "That's pretty amusing."

"No it's not!" Psyche flared as he pushed himself up from Tsugaru's lap so he can hug Tsugaru. "I would never dream of doing something like that to you! I swear!"

"I know." Tsugaru smiled at him. Psyche melted in his lap.

"I… I don't understand why I keep having these dreams." Psyche stammered.

"It's alright. I don't mind."

"I do!"

"It doesn't bother me one bit."

"But it bothers me!"

"Why?"

"B-because! I'm wondering if this is what I'm thinking unconsciously! Or maybe I really do hate you Tsu-chan! Or maybe I-"

Tsugaru silenced him with a kiss. Then another kiss. And then another.

"I believe that you love me. I don't need any dreams to prove that reality." Tsugaru murmured as he lowered Psyche onto the floor. He unbuckled the pink belt and pulled down Psyche's white pants a bit. Psyche looked down at Tsugaru half-anxious and in half-anticipation.

"Tsu-chan… I…" but Psyche couldn't finish his sentence and moaned sweetly as Tsugaru gave him a good hard sucking.

* * *

"Ugggggggggh!" Izaya practically pounded his head into his computer screen.

"Gawddamnthatdream." Izaya groaned as he leaned back on his favorite swivel chair. Namie knew he must be pretty sick if he didn't even want to swivel in it.

"I don't understand why I keep having this dream!" Izaya burst out loud. And though he knew that Namie didn't know what the contents of his dreams were, he still glared at her and said, "And no, I am  _not_  in denial nor is my dream manifestation of some disgusting denied sexual frustrations!"

Namie just raised her eyebrows that said 'uh-huh. Right. And if you're not crazy, the sun will rise from the west tomorrow.'

"And I did take your advice and went around Ikebukuro for some exercise." Izaya added as he crossed his arms.

"Some exercise?"

"Oh, the usual. I managed to have Shizu-chan run around Ikebukuro with me for a good run for my physical exercise, orchestrated some games that got two gangs disbanded in one day when their bosses got jailed as my mental exercise, and exercised my spiritual healing as I explained to a few girls that without evolution and evolving into a stronger human being, their lives weren't much compared to an ameba." Izaya smirked as he relived his yesterday. Namie rolled her eyes.

Izaya slammed his fist onto his desk. "So,  **why**  do I keep having these dreams?"

"That's not exactly considered a 'healthy' exercise."

"Oh? Then do tell, what  _is_  considered a healthy exercise?"

"Why, I'd cook some home-made meals for Seiji, give him a good back rub, and some boobjobs as I wash him thoroughly, wear my best lingerie as I ask him what color I should wear and then get the bed made, a bit small for two people but snuggly enough, and then-"

Izaya groaned. He shouldn't have bothered asking about her fantasies.

* * *

Izaya sighed in bed as he laid there awake. It was pitch dark; the city was slowly sleeping, while the rats still scurried about underground doing their dirty business. Usually, Izaya would be one of them, dealing businesses or messing their lives, poking his noses in places to observe them, but tonight he was tired.

It's been more than two months now since he's bee having these constant dreams. At first it was infrequent, but now it was every night. The more Izaya trolled around Ikebukuro, more frequently the dreams came. It was as if that Shizu look-alike was giving Izaya look-alike some comfort sex each time Izaya did something that made him cry. It came to the point that Izaya refused to sleep. And no matter how much Izaya denied of himself being a human, without sleep, he wasn't able to function properly.

So Izaya stared at his ceiling blankly, not having enough energy to run around Ikebukuro anymore. All he can do now is stare at his ceiling in his dark room. Alone. He closed his eyes briefly.

_"Psyche…." Tsugaru moaned his name as he licked Psyche's pale neck._

Izaya swore and willed his eyes open. He tried to keep his eyes opened as long as possible but the bags under his eyes made his lids heavy. He blinked once.

_"I love you…" Tsugaru whispered into his ear before he nibbled on one of his earlobes. Psyche gasped and shivered in his embrace._

Izaya forced open his eyes again. He refused to even blink his eyes.

"I must be going mad." Izaya said to himself. He laughed weakly. Then he laughed louder, followed by laughter after laughter, trying to drown in his own voice laughing and laughing away.

Finally after he laughed his fill, Izaya let out a deep sigh. He turned over to his side. He clung to his black silken bed sheets. Izaya gritted his teeth, determined that no dreams or illusions will control him, and closed his eyes.

Izaya was welcomed with the full scene played before him.

_"Does this feel good?" Tsugaru asked as he fingered inside Psyche, massaging his prostate._

_"Y… yes…. But Tsu-chan, it's… it's dirty…" Psyche moaned as he held tightly onto the bed sheets under him as he squirmed in pleasure._

_"It's alright. I love you."_

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya sighed as something wet rolled down his cheek. Why did that blonde in his dreams always had that smile full of love? Izaya craved for it, even though he knew he could never have it.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Izaya was leaning against the concrete walls of the bridge as he watched the cars drive by. He stared at the streaks of headlights mingle with the overhead lights of the bridge aimlessly, as he brooded in melancholy. At least he was out and about now, though his body was listless and tired as if he was hit by a two ton truck.

Playing with people weren't the same as it used to be since it left a bad taste in his mouth because he would have his dreams later. It was always the same, himself crying in the arms of Shizuo and they make love. Izaya wondered if he truly was masochistic, if he kept having dreams of Shizuo fucking him and telling him that he loved…

Izaya shook his head. No matter what the dreams told him, he was very sure that he hated Shizuo. Hated his guts so much, he'd smile on his grave and skip with joy if he had actually died somehow. But it was definitely unnatural to keep having the same dream over and over, of wanting to see Shizuo say those lines, hold him, kiss him, love him and…

Izaya sighed again, confused. Were those dreams really manifestation of his true desires? He'd have scoffed at them if they weren't coming to him daily. Even now if he were to close his eyes he'd see them again, loving each other so tenderly, so sweetly, it would make anyone's teeth rot and hurl their dinner.

It was the exact extreme opposite of himself with his present Shizuo. They hated each other so damn passionately; they'd rip apart their surrounding territory in public display, foreplay in its own way that symbolized their hatred-making. The stronger Izaya and Shizuo hated each other during the day, the harder Psyche and Tsugaru made love at night. Izaya felt sick with that thought.

Just as he got up, thinking he had enough of this 'fresh air' business, he heard a familiar voice call out his name.

"IIIIIZAAAAYAAAAA~!"

Izaya looked up. "Shizu-chan?" Izaya was still half-dazed from his daydreaming. Normally he'd be more alert and would start dashing off even before Shizuo recognized him.

"You're fucking dead,  _flea_!" Shizuo said as he marched forward, with all the intentions of beating the shit out of Izaya.

Izaya couldn't help but sadly smile at this routine. He was used to Shizuo's angry face but strangely it sometimes overlapped with Tsugaru's smiles now. Considering he was seeing Tsugaru more often than Shizuo's, that was not a big surprise.

Shizuo stopped when Izaya stood his ground and didn't dash off like he normally did. He glared at him in anger but became wary in case Izaya had some tricks up his sleeves.

"What's wrong Shizu-chan? Are you suddenly afraid of me?" Izaya taunted, though his eyes showed a different type of emotion that Shizuo wasn't used to seeing. Some sort of deep sadness and Shizuo didn't like it.

"The fuck I'm scared of you."

"Then why don't you catch me, like you'd usually do. Beat me up until I'm blue and purple? Don't you want to see that?"

Shizuo marched forward again and grabbed Izaya roughly by his trimmed fur coat. Izaya still did not retaliate, nor did he take out his knife. He just stared at Shizuo almost sadly, and expectantly.

 

"Well?"

"You've got something up your sleeves, don't you louse? What the fuck are you planning." Shizuo growled. Izaya stared at Shizuo closely. He never got to see Shizuo up close anymore, just through his binoculars or photographs taken in a distance. Izaya studied Shizuo's face, noticing those burning glow in his eyes, his well defined nose, the slightly vein pop near his temple and the way he sneered at him in hatred.

Izaya sighed. So this was the only face he'll ever see from Heiwajima Shizuo. The face of anger, hatred and filled with violence itself.

This was his reality.

Izaya knew he deserved it. After years and years of torturing Shizuo because of his own hatred and complex toward the one man he could not control or predict, Izaya knew he earned his hatred.

"Should I have something up my sleeves, Shizu-chan? Or rather, do you want me to be always scheming to make your life miserable." Izaya calmly replied back as he stared into Shizuo's eyes. Shizuo shifted uncomfortably. This wasn't how it normally went. Normally, Izaya should be running. Normally, he should be chasing. Normally he should be throwing sign poles and vending machines and normally Izaya should be able to dodge them and outrun him at the same time. Normally Izaya wouldn't be caught in his hands like this. Normally they wouldn't be having this conversation.

"You're planning something louse and I don't like it. You're always planning." Shizuo growled.

"Indeed. I don't deny it. Though I suppose this once, if I had said you caught me perfectly by surprise and I have run out of cards to play, would you believe me." Izaya continued to stare into Shizuo's eyes, watching any changes he may see. Shizuo didn't like that he was being studied and observed. He felt stripped in front of this man and that angered him even more.

Shizuo punched Izaya in the stomach, hard. Hard enough to have him sailing in the air like vending machines, but Shizuo had held him in place. Izaya coughed and puked out liquid mucus, since he haven't been eating and his stomach was empty. Izaya crumpled to the floor in pain as Shizuo kicked him.

"Run. Run now because if I catch you, I'm not going to be holding back." Shizuo said in his low voice as he used all his willpower to maintain control of his anger.

Izaya got up staggeringly. He turned and started to run with a limp. He started running faster, and faster as he heard Shizuo's running pace behind him. Shizuo wanted normalcy in this bizarre circumstance, and Izaya too wished it back. So he ran, as if he was being chased by his fears, that those dreams he dreamed were his desired reality.

Orihara Izaya wasn't on top of his game tonight. He stumbled against the rails, lost his balance a few times and almost ran into the wall that he should have known it was there as he ran from Heiwajima Shizuo. Izaya should know all the back entrance, all the rooftops, the back alley and every single inch of his city, but tonight wasn't his night.

His stomach cramped in pain, not just from Shizuo's punch but also in hunger as the brunette was forced to spend energy that he did not have. The wind was harsh against his face as he tried to run faster and faster, away from the two monsters chasing him, Heiwajima Shizuo and his living nightmare. Izaya blinked and he could Tsugaru's face. He blinked again and he could hear Shizuo's voice whisper into his ear,  _"I love you."_  He blinked again and he could see Psyche and Tsugaru making out once more. Tears started to stream down his face as he started breaking down. But the more he cried, the more he had to blink away his tears and the more he saw himself making love with Shizuo.

Izaya laughed insanely. He laughed and laughed as he jumped from roof to roof, from stairs to walls, being chased by Shizuo screaming "Izaaayaaaa! I'll KILL YOU!" and Shizuo whispering into his other ear, "I love you. I'll never let you go."

"AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA!" Izaya laughed as he cried. "I think I'm insane! Yes! I love humanity! I love them so much, they've finally made me even love a monster of a human like Shizu-chan against my will!" That was the only conclusion he could arrive at as he both could see and hear two different Shizuo's loving and hating him at the same time.

Izaya could not take it anymore as he stopped on top of the four story high roof to catch his breath and laugh some more. His sides hurt and his head pounded in pain. Shizuo had caught up with him with ease now, as he ran up the stairs leading to the roof. Izaya stood their, catching his breath and watched as Shizuo threw a stop sign at him, barely missing his head as it crashed into the wall of the roof across from their platform.

"Izaaaayaaaa! You'd better run  _now_  or I'll wring your neck and break it in half!"

Sighing tiredly, Izaya turned to run.

Except, his feet didn't touch the ground.

Izaya felt his heart skip a beat as his brain reminded him that he had stopped on the edge of the four-story high building.

Izaya looked down to realize that he had tried run across the air instead of jumping through it, even an amateur parkour player wouldn't make such a stupid mistake.

Izaya turned to look up and saw Shizuo's face staring down at him in petrified horror.

'Ah… Shizu-chan. So you do care for me in a way,' was Izaya's last thought as he smiled sadly. Then his head and body crashed to the hard surface below.


	3. Chapter 3

" _Wake up! Open your eyes! You can't die yet!"_

Izaya moaned as he heard his voice… no, Psyche's voice, yelling at him, pleading him to get up.

"Shut up. Screw you. Let me be. I'm tired of you constantly nagging me."

_"No, you must wake up! You can't die yet! You haven't even told him you love him!"_

Izaya chuckled weakly.

"I love him? Who, Shizu-chan? You've got it backwards. I hate him. I hate his guts, and I'd gladly see him die the most horrible twisted death I could possibly give him."

_"You must open your eyes and tell him that you love him! You love him don't you? You love him so much, more than anyone! Please, I beg you, don't let your precious time go to waste!"_

"Fuck you, just get the hell out of my head. It's all your fault that I-"

Izaya froze. He could see Tsugaru peer over with much concern. Psyche continued to cry, practically bawl like a baby while Tsugaru looked deeply hurt, himself also in pain to see Izaya broken this way.

_"Izaya…"_  Tsugaru whispered. Izaya's heart skipped a beat hearing his name spoken through Shizuo's face and Shizuo's voice, spoken with much love and care.

_"Izaya…Izaya…"_

Shut up!

_"Izaya…."_

Shut up!

Izaya blinked open his eyes. His vision was blurry at first but it started to focus. To his pleasant surprise, he saw Shizuo peering down on him, with much concern in his face. The exact same face Tsugaru was making.

"Izaya! Hey, can you hear me? Izaya!" Shizuo shouted.

"Shizu… chan…" Izaya whispered then he started coughing. He tasted a lot of iron in his cough. He looked to the side to see a pool of blood slowly oozing away from his body.

Izaya's heart froze for a second as he felt his body grow numb and cold. This… wasn't a good sign.

"Dammit Shinra, pick up the damn phone!" Shizuo was saying as he fumbled with his cell phone. "I can't believe you didn't even land properly! Damn you, it was only four stories high!" Shizuo shouted at him. Izaya just stared blankly. He was rather more surprised that Shizuo could show him a different expression, a different emotion than just anger. He was even more surprised that Shizuo's face was exactly like Tsugaru's concerned face.

"Gawd dammit flea, making a murderer out of me! I bet you planned this! I mean, I do want to kill you but, … ugh you stupid fucking louse!" Shizuo started calling 911 instead. He'll figure out how to explain this situation to the police later. Right now, saving Izaya became his first priority for once.

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya said weakly as his hand tried to reach for him. Shizuo was too busy stammering into the phone, explaining or trying to explain where he was so the ambulance can call, and doing a poor job at it.

"Shizu…. Chan…." Izaya tried to reach for him again, but again Shizuo did not hear him, as he screamed into his phone and to the poor nurse on the receiving end that they were somewhere in goddamn-who-knows-where Ikebukuro.

Izaya smiled weakly as he gave up and looked at Shizuo, being worried sick over him. How unexpected. He would have never thought Shizuo had it in him to care.

His eyes started to feel heavy now, his body growing cold and colder as he felt the blood drain from his body.

"I'm cold… Shizu-chan…" Izaya whispered as his eyes started to droop and close.

* * *

"Tsu-chan, what should I do? What should I do?" Psyche sobbed and sobbed into Tsugaru's embrace as the kimono-clad blonde held him tightly. He pet his brunette hair gently as he held those quivering shoulders close, whispering words of comfort.

"Psyche, it'll be alright. I'm sure he'll be able to save him."

"But Izaya's too weak! He's too weakened! He'll die soon! I can feel his life slowly drain away." Psyche cried even harder into Tsugaru's blue kimono, soaking it. "And, and, and he hasn't even told him of his feelings!"

"Psyche, why don't you cheer for him? Perhaps sing to him?" Tsugaru whispered. "Encourage him just one last time."

Psyche's sobbing came to a stop as he hiccupped a reply, "S-sing?"

"Yes. Sing him one of your songs," Tsugaru nodded.

Psyche bobbed his back solemnly. "O-Okay," Psyche sniffled a bit more and cleared his throat as he commanded himself to calm down.

And he sang.

* * *

Izaya blinked open his eyes one last time as he heard singing. "I hear… singing…"

He felt warm. He realized that Shizuo was carrying him tightly and was running. He was doing his best not to shake him too much by carrying Izaya as closely to him as possible. Izaya could hear Shizuo's throbbing heart, matching with Psyche's song.

"Shizu-chan…?"

"Don't talk." Shizuo gritted his teeth as he ran. His face looked so serious. How silly, Izaya thought. He looked down to see that Shizuo was covered in blood. Ah, that's his own blood isn't it.

"I'm not so cold anymore…." Izaya said as he started to drift back into sleep.

"Hang in there, we're almost there, Izaya. Don't you dare die on me!"

Izaya nodded. But it was harder and harder for him to stay awake.

He then heard a harmony to Psyche's voice. It was Tsugaru's. What an unusual mix, Izaya thought as he heard both of them sing. Then a thought occurred to him. If by chance, if miracles can happen, and if he was able to see Shizuo have the same face and expression as Tsugaru once, can miracles happen twice?

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya said, as he clung to Shizuo's vest, tugging it lightly to get his attention. "Shizu-chan…"

"What? Not now, just hang in there!"

"Shizu-chan… I love you."

Shizuo froze. He came to a full stop as he stared down at Izaya in disbelief. Izaya looked up at him and laughed weakly.

"I guess I can't expect you to have the same fact as Tsu-chan huh. You never act the way I want you to." Izaya sighed. "I guess I hate you after all."

With that, Izaya closed his eyes and slumped. Behind those closed lids, he no longer saw Psyche and Tsugaru nor did his ears hear them singing.

"IZAYAAAAAAA!" Shizuo screamed.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

*Beep*

*Beep*

Izaya opened his eyes. His vision was blurry but he was able to make out the white ceiling. And his entire body felt numbed and drugged. He looked down to notice that his body was hooked up to a machine that constantly beeped back his heart rate.

"Ah~ Orihara-san. Good to see you're with us. How are you feeling?" A young nurse smiled down at him. Izaya groaned.

"I feel like I slept too much after not sleeping for months," which was true since this time he slept without any dreams of those two annoying love-birds. The young girl chuckled.

"Well you're quite lucky to have a nice friend who saved you when you fell. You were both blood type-O so he donated practically half of his blood to save you," she said with a sweet smile.

"He what?" Izaya turned to his side. Sure enough, there was Shizuo on the parallel bed next to him asleep, with his arm hooked with the same tube that ran through Izaya's. Izaya felt a wave of strange emotion filter through him as he watched Shizuo sleep peacefully next to him.

"I'll let you two sleep for now. You must be feeling very fatigued." Already Izaya's eyes were closing once more, feeling the drug run through him again as sleep overpowered his desire to stay awake.

And sleep he did. A long, peaceful sleep.

* * *

Izaya woke up again to a heavy weight on the side of his stomach. He groaned once more as he blinked open his eyes. It was dark. There weren't much light except for the small humming machine he was hooked up to. He let his eyes adjust to the darkness as he tried to sit up a bit and looked down towards his waist.

The blonde bartender was asleep by his beside, with his dumb blond head using his waist as a pillow which had woke him up. Izaya didn't know how many days he had slept but it seemed that Shizuo had finished giving blood to him at least, considering they were hooked up together anymore.

Izaya clutched his heart and he could feel his heart pump blood throughout his body.

'I'm alive…' Izaya thought. Thanks to this idiot, he was alive. Alive with practically half of Shizuo's blood flowing through his body. Izaya shivered at the thought. He wasn't sure if it was out of disgust, or from being overwhelmed with another emotion he wasn't sure if he wanted to admit to.

"You stupid brute, why did you do that…" Izaya said softly as he reached out and brushed Shizuo's hair. It was a bit rough, with all the dyeing job he's been doing over the years. A bit scratchy, but Izaya continued to run his fingers through his coarse hair. Now that he thought about it, he didn't remember when was the last time he was able to touch Shizuo's hair like this. Or see his sleeping face so up close.

Izaya gulped. There was a sense of strange feeling that started to wash over him as he watched Shizuo sleep in the darkness. It tugged at his heart slightly painfully, just like when he saw Tsugaru smile at Psyche.

"Guess in the end, I'll never see you smile at me, Shizu-chan," Izaya spoke softly, with a slight hint of loss.

"Is that what you wanted to see so badly?" Shizuo said.

Izaya quickly jerked his hand away.

"Y-you were awake?"

"No. But you woke me up when you started brushing my hair," Shizuo opened his eyes to look at Izaya. The confrontation made Izaya nervous, all the more so since he had no escape route right now. He could not run from Shizuo even if he wanted to.

Shizuo yawned and stretched. He got up to sit on the side of the bed and look down at Izaya quietly. His towering figure only made Izaya flinch and be more aware of his vulnerability. Feeling weak was something Izaya absolutely hated so he retaliated back. "I didn't ask you to save me."

Shizuo didn't say anything.

"Take back this blood! I should just spill it all and ask for another blood transplant. You make me sick!" Izaya started rapidly firing away.

"Izaya," Shizuo spoke softly. But it was enough to make Izaya pause. The tone was exactly like the tone he heard in his dreams. He looked up to face Shizuo's face. Even though it was somewhat dark, he could make out Shizuo's face. Izaya's heart skipped a beat when Shizuo looked down with Tsugaru's calm exterior, with a small wrinkle on his brow that expressed concern.

"Izaya… what you said back there, is it true?"

"Wh, what did I say? I don't remember," Izaya mumbled an excuse.

"You said you loved me."

"I did not! I said I hated you!" Izaya quickly bit his lips at his slip.

"So you do remember what you said that night," Shizuo confirmed. He sighed and sat up a bit.

"Hey, Izaya. I have a confession to make," Shizuo began as he continued to look at Izaya in the eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

"I've been… having these weird dreams. It used to come to me once in awhile but lately it's been plaguing me every day and every night."

Izaya stared at Shizuo in disbelief.

"In these… dreams… you see… well, you are some sort of a musician, and… my lover," Shizuo continued hesitantly. "And I make love to you every-"

"Stop! Whatever you're about to tell me, just stop!" Izaya was almost hysterical.

"But you said Tsu-chan that night. And you were making those same faces as Psyche-"

"No! Hell no! I do  _not_  make faces like that crybaby! There's no way I'm  _anything_ like that…" Izaya paused. He slipped again. He cursed himself quietly. It was very unlike him to get so flustered. It must be because he was drugged, yes, he blamed it all on the drug.

"So, you have been having the same dream," Shizuo looked genuinely surprised. Izaya cursed silently some more.

"I thought I was going crazy!" Shizuo continued as he looked at his hands trying to explain what's been going on with him for the past few months. Those dreams that constantly plagued him made him so angry earlier that night and wanted to chase the louse down to clear his head. He also needed normalcy, but he was unexpected to see Izaya looked at him like his dream's Psyche would way too much. It finally got to him. But he had not wanted to actually hurt the louse.

"It's not like you can control my dreams or anything, but I seriously thought that either found a way to control my dreams or perhaps …" Shizuo stopped from his rambling to look at Izaya once again. "Or perhaps… I do love you."

"No, you don't love me! And I certainly don't love you!" Izaya shouted back, trying to deny it everything he's got right now.

"Are you sure?" Shizuo leaned even closer. Izaya's heart stopped.

"I… I'm…" he stammered as Shizuo's face approached him. Strangely he was lost for words when Shizuo gazed at him seriously.

"You said you wanted to see me smile," Shizuo climbed onto the bed now with each hand on the sides of Izaya's head. Izaya's breath staggered as he tried to shrink away.

"Izaya…" Shizuo spoke softly as he kissed Izaya on the cheek. The raven haired man let out a strangled sigh.

"Don't-" Izaya pleaded quietly.

"Izaya…" Shizuo spoke tenderly and Izaya closed his eyes as he tried to will the tears away as they gathered up around the corner. His voice was like Tsugaru's from the dreams.

"Don't Shizu-chan."

"Izaya… I…"

"Don't! You'll regret it!" Izaya warned desperately.

"I… I want you."

Izaya chuckled weakly, perhaps a bit glad that Shizuo didn't say  _'I love you,'_  but it hurt at the same time. Considering he's already said it, he felt like he was holding the losing end of the stick.

"Shizu-chan, that's not very romantic."

Shizuo chuckled too as he admitted, "True. I don't know if I love you yet… but I do want you." Shizuo pulled himself up again to face Izaya. "You want it too, don't you?"

Izaya looked to the side as he lied through his teeth, "No. Why would I."

"Don't you want to see me smile?"

Izaya gulped. Something in Shizuo's voice made Izaya fear him more than before. If, he looked up at Shizuo right now and faced him, he had a feeling that his entire world might shatter.

"Izaya…"

That soft coaxing voice broke Izaya's iron will. Izaya looked back at Shizuo. Izaya's eyes widen in shock as he was granted with his miracle as Shizuo smiled down at him. It wasn't exactly the same tender and loving smile as Tsugaru's, rather it was a bit more amused smile, but his soft eyes were filled with emotions Izaya could not comprehend, but it made his heart yearn for it.

"Shi… Shizu-chan…" Izaya mumbled. Shizuo took that chance to lean down and kiss him fully on the lips. It was an awkward kiss, more like a bump. Shizuo came down on him again, this time his lips slightly parted and lightly sucked on Izaya's lips. It was like a clumsy and hesitant kiss of two high school students all over again. Izaya had many kisses from many different people before, and many of them from expert kissers, but none made his entire body melt like Shizuo's amateur lips.

"Shi-Shizu-chan…." Izaya held onto Shizuo to push him away, but he didn't have the strength to do so. In fact, his hands clutched onto Shizuo's hospital clothes, clinging onto him as he pulled him closer.

"Don't… please…" Izaya swallowed. He wasn't sure what he did or didn't want anymore.

"Don't you want it Izaya? Or rather, don't you want  _me_?" Shizuo started licking Izaya's jaw line, then his neck. Izaya groaned as his body started to heat up feverishly.

"I… " Izaya stammered, unable to finish his thoughts. His head was swimming with pleasure even though Shizuo's touches weren't that of an expert, each touch burned him.

"You said you loved me didn't you?" Shizuo continued as his hands held on to Izaya's hips and started to pull down his pajama pants. Izaya shivered. He was caught between his hatred for this man and his desire to love him.

"F…Fuck you Shizu-chan… I'll get you for this," Izaya panted his reply as each of Shizuo's sucking made him shiver with need. Shizuo chuckled lightly, not really taking his threats seriously.

"Psyche's much cuter than you, you know. He never curses when Tsugaru makes love to him. You should learn from his examples," Shizuo smirked as he pulled the rest of the pants off.

"Nnngh… I said I'm not Psyche!" Izaya growled but his answer was lacking power as it was mixed with moans of pleasure. It did not help that Izaya's face turned bright red at the word 'making love.'

"Oh? Then why do you make the exact same faces as him, when I make love to you?" Shizuo said with a knowing smirk that irritated the young information broker.

"I… I do not make the same fa..faces…. unn…" Izaya's objections were melted away as Shizuo started to stroke Izaya's manhood. "No, no fair Shizu-chan." Izaya turned to his side to bury his face into the pillow.

"Here, wet my fingers," Shizuo said as he carefully inserted his two fingers into Izaya's mouth. Izaya gulped at this suggestion and his heart thumped even more wildly as he started to suck on them.

"I said lick them wet, not suck them dry," Shizuo chuckled as he teased. Izaya moaned a response which was lost as he tried to lick the fingers that were intruding him.

"Here, let me help," Shizuo pulled up Izaya's shirt and licked his nipple. Immediately the raven haired man arched his back and groaned. "Oh, you like that. It seems you have the same sensitive spots like Psyche," Izaya replied indignantly though the blonde's fingers prevented him from making it understandable. Ignoring Izaya's angry retort, Shizuo covered the pert nipple with his mouth and started sucking.

Izaya's eyes rolled back as he jolted in pleasure. He could feel Shizuo's firm tongue lick and suck on him, arousing him even further. Out of reflex, Izaya salivated all over Shizuo's fingers as drools dripped down his chin.

Once Shizuo sucked on both of Izaya's pink nipples, he pulled his fingers out. Holding the thin man firmly under him, Shizuo started to finger his rim a few times before he started inserting his index finger. "Aaaah…." Izaya gasped as he arched his back, but Shizuo kept him in place.

"S… Shizu-chan…." Izaya moaned when the second finger started to violate him. "Oh gawd…." He tossed his head against the pillow as his face flushed even more. Shizuo stared down on him, not wanting to miss a single expression on Izaya's face. It was the same face as Psyche's, but this wasn't a dream.

"Izaya… relax," Shizuo spoke softly as his fingers easily found Izaya's prostate and stroked it. He already knew the position from his dreams. Izaya almost cried out hearing Shizuo's tender voice that mimicked his own dreams. Except it wasn't Tsugaru calling out to Psyche. It was  _his_ name.

"Sh… Shizu-chan… I…." Izaya blinked open his tearful eyes to look at his Shizuo, making sure that this wasn't a dream. It was definitely _his_ Shizuo, aroused and wanting  _him_ , not Psyche.

"Oh gawd… I… I don't think I can take this…." Izaya swallowed. His mouth was full of drools and his body desperately wanted Shizuo's cock inside him. He couldn't believe he had Shizuo's fingers massaging his prostate right now preparing him for something he only dreamed of. It overwhelmed him.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Shizuo however misunderstood Izaya's words and frowned in concern.

"Does it… hurt that much? Shall I stop?" Shizuo paused from stroking Izaya's prostate.

"No! Don't stop!" Izaya cried out. Then stunned at his own words, he hid his face from Shizuo in shock and extreme embarrassment. Shizuo sighed, amused as he nibbled on Izaya's flushed ears. Izaya continued to bite down his moan, refusing to admit that he wanted it.

"You're a lot more stubborn," Shizuo admitted. Well, Izaya wasn't completely like Psyche. He did wonder again if Psyche and Tsugaru were their suppressed inner selves. Shizuo pulled out his wet fingers once he stretched Izaya's inside. Izaya took a deep staggering breath as he knew what that meant.

Shizuo leaned forward and covered Izaya's mouth with his as he started to enter inside him. Izaya groaned but Shizuo swallowed his moans so no one can hear them. As Shizuo started thrusting, the bed started to squeak a bit underneath them. The blonde held onto Izaya's thigh and biceps and spread him open even more. Izaya closed his eyes and hooked his legs around Shizuo's large back as he plunged himself towards each thrust. Shizuo kept a steady rhythm to the ride on so he wouldn't make too much noise as well as he tried to make sure he wasn't hurting Izaya. Shizuo's hands crawled down Izaya's legs which made him quiver even more with desire.

"Mmnn…. Shizu-chan…" Izaya moaned between their hungry kisses. "H… harder…" Izaya clung onto the bartender, his desires overtaking his pride.

"Shhh… I don't want to hurt you Izaya," Shizuo pulled away from Izaya's lips, now that his potential screams from entry was eaten away. He started to suck on Izaya's earlobe instead, knowing that that was one of his sweet spots.

"Nnngh… aaah… S… Shizu-chan… no…. I want it harder…" Izaya begged as he melted into the heat of the pleasure, his throbbing manhood nearing dangerously toward his climax.

"Keep it down then," After his warning, the blonde started to pummel into Izaya, he himself feeling the need to drive inside the smaller man with his weeping cock. Izaya covered his mouth with his own hand as he wrapped his other arm around Shizuo's broad back as he was pushed against the bed.

"Mmnnn… nnng…. unnn… unnn…" Izaya moaned into his hand as Shizuo thrust inside him roughly, his hard wood pounding into his prostate. As they both neared their climax, Shizuo's thrust became more erratic and demanding.

"S… Shizu-chan! I… I'm gonna…!" Izaya removed his hand to warn Shizuo that he was almost there. Hearing this, Shizuo grabbed Izaya roughly by the chin and kissed him, forcefully parting his lips and his tongue wrapping around Izaya's and licking it. Izaya shivered at the sensation and his mind exploded in white stars as he came hard onto both of their stomach. Shizuo too shot his load into Izaya's ass, filling him completely with his seed.

However their bodies shook against each other as they reached their orgasm, they collapsed on the bed, their entire body spent. Breathless, Shizuo laid on top of Izaya as they both tried to catch their breath.

After awhile, Izaya spoke up first, "Shizu-chan."

"Hnn?"

" Even after this, I'm still going to make your life miserable," Izaya said as he looked up at the dark hospital ceiling as he rested.

Shizuo crawled a bit higher so they could at least see each other as he replied, "Suit yourself flea, I'll still chase you out of 'bukuro."

"I'll still try to kill you," Izaya said as he looked up at Shizuo with a smirk.

"Well, I'll fucking make sure I'll live through it and beat the hell out of you, louse."

Izaya smiled as he gazed up at Shizuo's grumbling face, "And I still love you, Shizu-chan."

"Well then I'll make sure I…" Shizuo paused as he realized what he had just heard. Izaya grinned wider as Shizuo's face flushed red all the way to his ears. Izaya leaned forward and kissed him.

He'll settle for  _this_  Shizuo for now.

* * *

"I think they're okay now," Psyche said with his eyes closed, his hands on his headset on his ears, concentrating. Tsugaru hugged him from behind, pulling him into his lap.

"Tsu-chan, Izaya confessed. I can't see them anymore but I think they'll be okay." Psyche told Tsugaru happily as he opened his eyes and smiled at him. But Tsugaru looked back at Psyche in a mix of pain and guilt. Psyche blinked in surprise. "What's wrong?"

Tsugaru buried his face behind Psyche's white fur hoodie coat. "I… I have a confession to make,"

"What is it? What's wrong Tsu-chan?" Psyche turn around to look back at Tsugaru, worried.

"I… I've known all along…" Tsugaru stammered guiltily.

"Known… what all along?" Psyche asked quizzically.

"I… I have been having the same dream as you… but I was sharing Shizuo's dream. I'm sorry if you feel betrayed that I've not told you the truth," Tsugaru held Psyche tighter. "I was afraid I'd lose you if I told you. I also needed to believe that I didn't hate you deeply inside me. When I told you that I didn't care about what you were dreaming, that I didn't believe that they were manifestation of our true feelings… I was telling it to myself.

"I… I'm so sorry Psyche. I understand if you hate me," Tsugaru ended as he hung his head and let go of Psyche, ready for his punishment. As he waited, teardrops fell onto his kimono. Stunned, Tsugaru looked up to see Psyche crying.

"T… Tsu-chan… I'm so sorry. I didn't know… I… I didn't know…." Psyche started hiccupping and Tsugaru's heart sank even further. "I… I'm sorry Psyche. I understand if you can't forgive me…"

"That's not it!" Psyche screamed, interrupting Tsugaru. Psyche fiercely hugged Tsugaru and started to cry even harder. "Tsu-chan's an idiot! I didn't know you were going through such a hard time! And here… here I was complaining about… about my problems, and… and I didn't … I didn't even consider your feelings… or even saw that you were  _hurt!_  I… I'm so sorry Tsu-chan, I'm such a bad person! I'm… I'm so sorry!" Psyche then bawled like a baby.

Tsugaru's eyes softened. His hands were a bit hesitant at first, but once he wrapped his arms around the little boy, he held him in his arms just as fiercely.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't… have the courage. I didn't want to lose you no matter what. I love you Psyche," Tsugaru started to kiss Psyche's eyes, licking away the tears. "Don't cry Psyche. I'll always love you. So don't cry," but it made Psyche cry even harder.

"Ts… Tsu-chan…." Psyche called out to him as Tsugaru unbuttoned his coat and licked his nipple. "Nnnng…." Psyche arched back, his hands clinging to Tsugaru's kimono for support.

"Psyche…." Tsugaru whispered his name as he sucked on the pert pink nipple, licking it harder and harder. "Psyche…."

"Ts… Tsu-chan… unnn…" Psyche mewed in pleasure, his pants already tightening with each touch. Fully aware of his need, Tsugaru unbuckled his pants while his lips travelled lower.

"Tsu-chan, wait… you shouldn't…" Psyche whined but Tsugaru didn't stop once he reached to his destination. Fully hard already, it wasn't difficult to pull down Psyche's pink heart boxers and reveal his hard little cock. Tsugaru immediately swallowed it, gladly giving it the attention it was seeking.

"Nnnggh…. haaah!" Psyche bucked and jolted as pleasure ripped through his body at the sudden intensity. Tsugaru didn't hold back as his tongue swirled around the cock and his fingers pulled down the foreskin.

"Tsu… Tsu-chan… aaah…. Aaah….. unnn…. Tsu-chan…." Psyche moaned as he closed his eyes and pleaded. As Tsugaru bobbed his head up and down and licked at the head down to his hilt, it didn't take long for Psyche to come close to his orgasm.

"Ts… Tsu-chan! I'm… I'm gonna…. Nnngg…." Psyche moaned as his orgasm hit him hard. Tsugaru pulled and stroked Psyche and watched him come hard, cupping the cum with his other hand to catch them.

Psyche slumped onto the floor below them breathless as Tsugaru gathered up the cum on his hand to use as lubrication. Tsugaru carefully tugged until he took off Psyche's white pants.

"Psyche… turn around for me," Tsugaru coaxed as his other free hand already started to turn him over. Sluggishly, Psyche turned to lay on his stomach. Tsugaru pulled him up a bit so Psyche was on his knees as the blonde's fingers started their ministration.

"Aaah…!" Psyche cried out a bit, still pretty sensitive from his previous climax as Tsugaru's fingers entered inside him.

"Is it… too early?" Tsugaru asked gently, afraid of hurting him even though he wanted to give him his love.

"Ah, no. I'm fine. I want…," Psyche gulped and then whispered shyly. "I want Tsugaru to feel good too."

Tsugaru smiled as his fingered dipped in deeper. "You're pretty stubborn sometimes, did you know that Psyche?" Tsugaru smiled fondly at the thought of Psyche trying so hard to please him.

"Unnn…. No I'm not," Psyche pouted as he shook his ass as the fingers twirled inside him.

Tsugaru didn't argue as he finished preparing for him and got into his position. "Psyche… I'm going in now," Tsugaru whispered huskily, which made Psyche shiver in anticipation.

The kimono clad blonde started to enter slowly, inching his way in with tiny thrusts. Psyche moaned as his ass clenched and unclenched, feeling himself filled.

"You're… so… tight…. Nnngh…." Tsugaru moaned as he leaned forward to nip at Psyche's ear tip. "Aaah…" Psyche gasped, his elbows bucking from the overstimulation.

"I love you Psyche…." Tsugaru continued to whisper into Psyche's ears. He was sincere. He truly loved him, even as he still felt guilty that he wasn't honest with him for more than two months. He felt lucky to have such a forgiving, loving, cute partner as his.

"I love you…." Tsugaru whispered again, his heart soaring with so much love, so happy that Psyche would forgive someone like him, and can love someone like him.

"Tsu… Tsu-chan… don't.. don't ever leave me…." Psyche cried out as he buried his face in his own arms shyly.

"I won't. I'll never let you go," Tsugaru said as he thrust sharply once to bury himself deeply.

"Aaah!" Psyche drooled as his ass quivered. Tsugaru waited until he felt that Psyche had adjusted to his size again before he started moving inside him. "You… you're still so tight…." Tsugaru closed his eyes as he concentrated. It was hot inside Psyche and it was melting both of them, body and soul.

"T… Tsu-chan… aaah… th… that feels so good…." Psyche moaned as he tried to push himself back to match with the rhythm but failing to do so. His arms and legs were giving out on him as he uselessly laid on the floor, his entire body turning into mush. Tsugaru held him up with his hands on his hips as he steadily build up to their climax.

"T… Tsu-chan… Tsu-chan… nng… unnn…. Unnn…" Psyche sighed, his little pecker bobbing up and down with need as Tsugaru thrust into him deeply, angling it so he can brush against the prostate each time. "I… I ca… can't… hold on… anymore…" Psyche groaned as his second climax was almost on him.

"Just…. A bit longer… Psyche…" Tsugaru bucked his hip and continued to plunge into the young brunette. Psyche could hear the sloppy sound of their skin slapping against each other as he tried to hold on, clenching and unclenching his muscles around Tsugaru's hard cock.

"Tsu-chan… I can't… I can't…!" Psyche cried as he tried to balance himself. He came hard for the second time as stars exploded in his mind once more.

"Psy… Psyche..." Tsugaru continued to pound into him, near his climax but not quite upon him. Psyche whimpered as he held on as long as he could for Tsugaru, his body going into overdrive from such a demanding treatment.

After several thrusts, Tsugaru cried out as he hunched over, quivering as he unloaded his seeds into Psyche, tightening his grip around Psyche's hip. As Tsugaru came to his orgasm, Psyche too came to his third orgasm crying out Tsugaru's name though there were no more cum spilling out of his tired cock when he reached his climax this time. The lack of cum burned through Psyche's cock as orgasm took him. Tsugaru fell on top of Psyche's back and rested, too tired to move.

After several minutes, seeing that Psyche was not moving under him, Tsugaru called out to Psyche. "Psyche? Psyche?" When hearing no response, Tsugaru moved to the side to look at Psyche's face.

Psyche was fast asleep.

Tsugaru smiled as he caressed the young brunet's cheeks. He took off his blue and white kimono and wrapped it around Psyche's shoulders. He then cuddled him tightly and fell asleep alongside him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Epilogue**

Considering Shizuo practically gave half of his life blood to Izaya to save him, the police believed his words when he said that it was by complete accident that Izaya fell from a four story high roof. Even if they were a bit dubious considering they knew of Shizuo's reputation to chase Izaya around Ikebukuro, Izaya did back him up and said he wouldn't be filing any charges.

Shizuo was still seen chasing down Izaya in Ikebukuro. Though often, Shizuo wasn't making a huge effort to kill Izaya. After their chase, they usually went somewhere secluded to have some pretty steamy sex. They both came to terms with their feelings for each other, which made Izaya a bit kinder man. … just a bit. (not by much.) He still liked to be nosy and butt into other people's businesses. At least Izaya was a bit happier than before and had a new hobby that kept him busy and it didn't involve getting people to commit suicides.

Tsugaru and Psyche were the same as before. They still love each other deeply and that'll probably never change.

Shizuo, Izaya, Tsugaru and Psyche all don't dream of each other anymore. It seemed as if whatever was the source of the cosmic power that brought their dreams and realities together, the source of the problem was resolved and it was no longer necessary.

However there was a new miracle brooding as a certain LindaLindakida, Hippiekado and two certain Raira Gakuen students started having a very weird dream~

But that's a story for another time for another anon. This author is signing out.

-The End –

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Thank you for reading guys! I hope you guys enjoyed the fluff~


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